“Toy Proof” expresses the sentiment of heartbreak at an inopportune time when the protagonist chooses to keep it private.
The phone call that put an end to their relationship came just as Jenny’s mom was diagnosed with the return of leukemia- horrible timing if timing means anything.
Jenny JAM relocated from Los Angeles to London to fill in as her mother’s caregiver following her bone marrow transplant. She finds herself in hospital corridors with pill reminders during which she realizes that the one person she thought would be with her through the darkest times was not going to be there for her after all.
This is the sad truth behind “Toy Proof.” It deals not only with loss but also with the struggle that follows- remembering every single happy moment together and realizing that in fact they weren’t as happy as she thought.
It is appropriate. This is a person who got her education in theatrical performance in London, and then showcased it at Dubai Fashion Week, at Kennedy Space Center and on top of the Freedom Tower in New York during the commemorative ceremony on the occasion of 9/11 events. Her one and only album Trains, Planes and Airports was written during her travels and recorded in several locations in Los Angeles, Delaware and Birmingham, including a track with a vocal recorded on the microphone used by Frank Sinatra at Capitol Records.
This is a girl who sees pain as luggage: she carries it, checks it in and moves on.
And the voice. It is full of spirit and hints of Amy Winehouse, but it is absolutely crystal clear and modern.
She comments, “There is always a positive side of the story.” Given the fact that she has recently been in a hospital, these words sound powerful and sincere.
“Toy Proof” was written while you were becoming your mother’s full time caregiver. How did that period shape the songwriting process?
Toy Proof came out of such a dark period of my life. I was in England caring for my mum after her bone marrow transplant for leukemia, and someone I loved and trusted left when I needed them most. I felt like a rag doll in that relationship in general; picked up and thrown around. This is where the concept of “Toy Proof” came from.
Writing the song was my way of saying- you may have hurt me, but you don’t get to break me. I always seem to write songs when I’m in a bad place, it’s like my therapy.
The song deals with realizing a relationship may never have been what you believed. When did that realization actually hit you?
I had been feeling this way for a while. It should have ended long before it did, but I made the mistake of continuing to try for something with someone who repeatedly wasn’t showing up when things got bad. For example; after taking the Covid vaccine, I was in and out of hospital for months, as I had a terrible reaction to it. My partner was filming out of State at the time. When he came back to LA, he didn’t come to see me. I ended it then and should never have gone back. It doesn’t get better second time round!
You’ve called the album a story of rising from the ashes. What did that rising actually look like day to day?
Some of the songs are written about various dark chapters in my life. It really depends on what period of time they were written about. Day to day healing/rising from ashes involves surrounding yourself with good people, being outside in nature, listening to good music, reading, and really working on yourself. You also have to accept the rollercoaster of the ups and downs and be ok with it, instead of fighting against it and falling deeper into the dark hole.
“Trains, Planes and Airports” was recorded across LA, Delaware, and Birmingham. How did moving between those cities change the sound of the record?
Each location was recorded with a different music producer, so I think that really changed the sound more than the location itself. For example, “Good Vibes” and “Drag You Down” which are tracks 9 & 10 on the album, were co-written and produced by Herb Middleton. He previously produced Mary J.Blige and some of Al Green’s tracks. Herb really allowed me to bring out my soulful tones and helped me create some cool harmonies.
You recorded “Prove Who” on Frank Sinatra’s microphone at Capitol Records. What was that session like?
Honestly this day was one of the best days of my life. THE Capitol Records legendary gorgeous studios, with Sinatra’s mic and Nat King Cole’s piano in the room, surrounded by legends who had come to listen; Dante Santiago, who was a founding member of the”Black Eyed Peas”, Robert Cutarella – a Grammy award winning writer/producer who has worked with Eric Clapton, Cyndi Lauper, and Madonna. It was such a vibe and an absolute honor to be in such an iconic Hollywood studio.
“Better Than You” is about surviving abuse and reclaiming power. What made you ready to write that song specifically?
I had already written my debut single; “Morning Bottle”, and was ready to write song 2. This came out by accident – one day I was just sitting in my room in LA, put pen to paper and I started writing about this awful relationship. The lyrics came first, followed by the melody which I worked on with my producer; Ikuma Matsuda. I wrote this 3 years after the relationship, so I had moved on and done enough healing to feel I could write about it!
“Friendzoned” was written on a Hampstead rooftop during Glastonbury. What’s the story behind that writing session?
Haha ahhh he will kill me for writing this! This song is about a friend of a friend in London who tried to date me while I was working on a film there – Summer of 2023. We went on a few dates but I just wasn’t feeling it romantically. The chorus is an ode to him and his Jamaican roots – where I sing, “no fussing, no fighting”, which comes from Bob Marley and the Wailer’s 1971 single; “Fussing and Fighting”.
At the time, I was staying at my friend’s apartment in Hampstead which has a lovely rooftop. My friend was watching Glastonbury live, while I was writing some of the album, which definitely inspired me.
You’ve performed at the Freedom Tower, Dubai Fashion Week, and NASA’s Kennedy Space Center. Which of those stages changed something in how you see your own music?
Performing at the Freedom Tower for the delayed 20th anniversary of 9/11 to the First Responders, National Guard and now current Vice President, was by far the wildest experience ever. I wrote a ballad for people who had lost loved ones- something I’ve never done before. I think this experience opened me up to writing love songs/ songs about loved ones in the future. I’m usually writing songs about overcoming love and broken relationships!
You come from musical theatre and film under the name Jennifer Moxham. How does that background show up in how you approach a song like “Toy Proof”?
I definitely used my musical theatre training to sing the high notes in “Toy Proof”! Then in terms of expressing myself through music and performance, all my Drama School training kicks in – shoutout to Italia Conti Associates in England!
All my acting training since has also helped with my performance, especially when shooting my music video.
Amy Winehouse, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones. How do those influences actually show up in your writing process, not just the final sound?
I think those influences are quite instinctive now. With Amy Winehouse, it’s the honesty of her lyrics – that freedom to say something raw without making it sound overly polished. Fleetwood Mac inspire me to turn complicated feelings into a story, while The Beatles remind me how powerful a simple memorable melody can be. With the Rolling Stones, it’s the attitude, the rock ‘n’ roll I like to inject into some of my songs. I’m not consciously thinking about them when I write, but those qualities have definitely shaped what I’m drawn to in a song.
You’ve said no matter how dark the story, there’s always a positive twist. What’s the twist in “Toy Proof” for you personally?
Like my lyrics; “You shot me but I won’t fall” – no matter how much I was hurt, I didn’t let it destroy me. I continued trying to be the best carer I could be for my Mum, and moved on. Everything in life is temporary, and nothing is guaranteed. Never let someone trip you up.
